I mourn the loss of: Logan's carefree nature, his endless energy, his easy giggle, his adventurous nature, his complete confidence, part of his childhood and personality that has been forever changed through this situation. He has been forced to grow up in so many ways so quickly, that we will never know how he would have been different. I also mourn the loss of our naivete. It was so easy to think something like this was rare or could never happen to our family. Well, clearly that line of thinking is wrong. So. Very. Wrong.
I am thankful for: Logan's continued joy in life, his loving nature, the fact that he tells me that I am pretty at least 10 times a day, his curiosity, his tenacity, his perseverance, his endless strength (of which he gives me so much inspiration to carry on in tough times), the people we have met throughout this journey, the perspective that this situation has given us, Logan's laugh, and so much more.
This has fundamentally changed who we are and how we react to people, situations and life in general. I go back to that first post, The Worst Day of Our Lives, and I cannot even read the first sentence without crying. It is so hard to think back to the thoughts and emotions of that time. This time of year does that to me though. I start thinking about the days leading up to his diagnosis and the days following, and it gets me every year. So, since it is so hard to look back, we are looking ahead (denial much?). He ended the school year with a bang, and graduated Kindergarten. Unfortunately he had to say goodbye to his teacher Ms. Howard and principal Mrs. Pytlinski as they will not be returning, which made us all very sad. Logan had his last spinal tap with chemo this week, and only has 2 more IV chemo treatments to go. As for all chemo meds, only 67 more days to go...
