Changes

Logan is on day 46 of chemotherapy. It has been 7 weeks since we learned of his diagnosis. It has gone quick on one hand and seems like forever since this has been our reality on the other hand.

I feel like he is a different kid at times and he even looks different. Part of that could be that he just looks tired and mellow much of the time. He is just not the same kid, and I know that is to be expected. It just makes me sad. He is not as joyful and carefree. Before, he laughed a lot and loved to be tickled. He does not want us to tickle him now. I know that sounds trivial, but the giggle that came out when he was being tickled could improve your mood on any day. Logan is more timid and whiny right now. I know he does not feel great, and he has been through a lot in the last 7 weeks. I also know that we have been waiting on him and pampering him which is hard not to do. But he has gotten used to it, and now does not want to do anything for himself or do anything he does not choose/think of. His eyes always look sleepy, and he just does not have that energetic light in them. He occasionally just falls asleep on the couch. He still has a few extra pounds from all the food he ate during the first month when he was on the steroids, but at least he is back into the clothes that he temporarily outgrew. His lack of appetite seems so drastic when compared to last month, and at this rate he will lose those extra 4 pounds pretty quickly. Logan's hair seems to be laying different. This could be because he needs a haircut, or it could be getting thinner. I really can't tell if it is thinning, but I still don't see hair in the drain or on his pillow so that is encouraging.

Logan is doing a great job and taking it all in stride. Except for the medicine which is still a struggle, but we get through. He is extra sweet and affectionate at times, and super grumpy at other times. He finds ways to play without expending too much energy like swinging or driving his car. It is just so different than the never stop kid that we were accustomed to, and that is hard for us. The new normal is taking a bit of getting used to. And just as we get the hang of it, I will be going back to work in a little over 2 weeks. I have been so grateful for the timing of all this, and that I could spend the summer with him and coping with the first couple of months. But, school starts soon, and I will be working and Alexis will start 1st grade.