A few thanks

I just needed to say thank you to Jodi for providing dinner for our family last Sunday evening, and Jordana for bringing Chili's on Monday. Also thank you to Pam for organizing a meal train starting next week around the same time the more intense chemo starts. Thanks to Tricia and her family for the gift cards that will provide dinner to our family on whichever stressful day I just can't get homemade food onto the table. We are so fortunate for all the love and support. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I included a picture of Logan during his test on Friday. He was still sporting his Spiderman face, and of course he was armed with his snacks.

Just a test

On this "week off" from chemo and clinic visits, Logan will make a trip up to the main campus of Children's Hospital. He has to undergo an echo-cardiogram to check how his heart is functioning. This is routine, and he has to have this done because one of the chemotherapy drugs he will start next week poses a risk to his heart. A fancy word: cardiotoxicity, that just means it can damage his heart. Like many of his chemo drugs, the potential side effects are often quite significant. It is really no choice, but it still stinks. The hope is that he does not have any ill-effects, but there is no guarantee. From heart damage and nerve damage to secondary cancers, I try not to think about potential side effects. This is not something I can control. I will think positively and hope for the best. Logan is a strong little superhero, and he is just going along like any other little 3 year old.

Make a Wish

Because of his diagnosis, Logan qualifies for a wish from the Make a Wish foundation. We met a few weeks ago with our Make a Wish volunteers Nancy and Dawn. I am just now posting about it because things were still so much up in the air. We were no closer to deciding upon a wish for Logan than we were before the meeting. If anything, we were more confused. We cannot travel until March at the soonest, so there is no hurry to make a decision.

Logan is obsessed with the Avengers and all things Superhero. He loves sports and cars including the Disney Cars movies. What to do? The initial interview process was several questions while they just tried to get know Logan and his favorites, interests, etc. The more we talked with Nancy and Dawn, we were leaning toward a trip to Disneyland. They have the new Cars attraction there, and we think Logan will love that. They also have plenty for Alexis and the whole family to love. And it would mean a return to California, where Eric and I lived for almost 6 years and where Alexis was born.

Then we started to wonder, would this be special enough for his wish? Is this something we could give our kids? Nancy and Dawn have been great in answering questions and they are investigating if we can incorporate some superhero visits. While it may be the wish of Logan's mom and dad to meet Robert Downey Jr, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, and the whole cast of Avengers, we do not think it would mean as much to Logan as meeting his favorite characters in costume (Bummer for Mom and Dad). And meeting actual famous people is a separate wish from a trip.

Stay tuned, but in the mean time, check out Make a Wish Colorado's site or the national site for details about this wonderful organization that is putting a bright spot in a tough fight for many kids.

Here is a picture of Logan with his new haircut:

Want a night off?

You can take the night off from cooking tonight and support St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. Chili's restaurants are donating their proceeds from today. Win/win. St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is internationally recognized for its pioneering research and treatment of children with cancer and other catastrophic diseases. Ranked one of the best pediatric cancer hospitals in the country, St. Jude is the first and only National Cancer Institute-designated Comprehensive Cancer Center devoted solely to children. Check out St. Jude's website for more information. Logan will be eating food from Chili's tonight thanks to our friend and fellow cancer survivor Jordana. Here are some pictures of Logan enjoying his weekend including lunch at Freddy's and watching fireworks.

Still holding strong

Logan did well after chemo yesterday. He came home, actually ate dinner, and played outside until dark. We came in and gave him some Zofran just to keep ahead of any nausea, and off he went to bed. He even slept late this morning, which he rarely does. Logan is currently chowing down on cereal, and it is nice to see he has not lost his appetite which just recovered this week. Hopefully the rest of the weekend will keep going this smoothly. Logan's big sister has soccer games, and it will be nice to have both kids feeling good.

Last dose...for now

Well, Logan passed his counts for chemo today. It was close, but he was good to go for an even higher dose of Methotrexate in his port in addition to the Vincristine also in the port. This is the last dose in this Interim Maintenance 1 phase. He now has almost two weeks of "rest" until he has to pass counts for Delayed Intensification. This is the next phase in which Logan must go back on steroids in addition to getting more (in amount and intensity) chemo. We have not been looking forward to this phase for many reasons. We really did not enjoy steroids during the Induction phase. Logan was cranky, hungry, and just not himself. He gained about 12 pounds, which he has since lost, and he was just so uncomfortable from the extra weight and also from the side effects of the steroids. No fun for my little man. This time around he only takes them for a week, then takes a week off, but then takes them for another week. But, the catch is that it is a much higher dose. We will see how it goes. But, the good news is we do not have to worry about it until October 4 (as long as his counts are good to start on time).

Chemo went well, and Logan took it like a champ. Now he has some recovery time before he has to pass counts. Here's hoping for an uneventful weekend.

Fingers crossed...

We are keeping our fingers crossed for many things right now: that Logan will not get sick since his sister has a fever, that he will pass his counts today for chemo tomorrow, that he will not be as sick after chemo this time, that I can go to work tomorrow (yes, really), and that we can have a calm, uneventful, vomit-free weekend. Too much to ask? Maybe. Except they are all related.

Alexis is still "sick." I put it like that because she has a fever, but really no other symptoms and today she does not want to sit still or lay around calmly. We hope that she just caught the virus that Logan had last week which just made the chemo reaction worse, instead of him getting this from her now. Hopefully she will be back at school tomorrow, which would lead to me going back to work. I have meetings with parents of one of my students tomorrow, plus, I feel the need to hoard all of my sick time for some unknown future need. Will Logan end up back in the hospital? What if he gets really sick? As you can tell, I do not do well with unknown variables over which I have no control. Yes, I admit it, I am a control freak. Just ask Eric. Not having control over cancer is killing me, but I am working on it. Really, I am.

We want this chemo train to keep moving and have no delays, but we also are hoping that Logan does not react to the two chemo medications in his port they way that he reacted to the two along with the lumbar puncture last week. There were many factors converging last week with the chemo. Not only did his dose of Methotrexate escalate as usual, but since he had a birthday since his last lumbar puncture, his dose of Methotrexate in his spinal fluid also went up. On top of that, apparently he was getting a virus, which led to a fever and trip to the clinic. All of that did not exactly add up to a good time.

But this week will be better. I know it, because despite all of those things we are surviving and loving each other. My kids and family are thriving despite cancer. It may take up a lot of our time right now, but it will not define us or rule us. Can't you just tell that this one is way more stubborn than cancer?

Yes, it is a picture from his birthday from last month, but it is cute and I didn't have one from yesterday.

Can't catch a break

Logan is doing great. He is finally eating, laughing and not throwing up. Something to celebrate for sure. Except, now his sister Alexis is sick. Poor thing just woke up with a headache and fever. Hopefully it is something that passes quickly. But Logan was very concerned and he felt Alexis needed to go the hospital because she had a fever. This was after he told us she needed medicine. Our little man knows just what happens when he gets a fever, and figures it is the same for everyone. Such a little caretaker.

What this day at home has given me some time for is creating and launching the official Facebook page for Logan the Cancer Avenger. This is a way to reach more people than just my personal page. Go check it out. Or, maybe you are here because of that page. Welcome. If you want the whole back story, I recommend going to the beginning of the blog. I would not recommend reading the entire blog, just because it is 3.5 months worth of posts. But you can always scan a few, including How it all Began and maybe Worst day of our lives (though that one is harder, even for me to go back and read). I scanned a few from that first month when I was looking for those posts to link, and I realized something. Even though we were really still struggling with the new diagnosis, I included little moments of humor or comments in those posts. I think with the craziness of going back to work and just getting things done, I have lost some of that. So, I will include one of the funnier quotes from Logan lately. As we have said, since he is so young we use the analogy of superheros and bad guys to explain chemo, leukemia, and what he is going through. Obviously the "bad guys" are the leukemia cells, the "superheros" are the medications and chemo. Well, since Logan is not potty trained, his skin gets really irritated after chemo treatments and we have to be diligent in changing him quickly and keeping his skin protected. Despite this, he has some irritation and it bothers him. So, the other day he told me "the bad guys are attacking my balls!" Which was his way of telling me his skin was burning/itching and he needed cream applied.

Here is a picture of them in their Halloween costumes before either of them were sick. Logan has even inspired Alexis to be a superhero instead of a princess (a big step for her).

Finally doing better

Well, it has been a rough week since chemo last Tuesday. Logan has not kept much food down, but has been drinking. Sometimes he keeps the milk down, sometimes he does not. We were in the clinic last Friday due to a fever, but thankfully were not admitted to Children's hospital. He seemed to be doing much better after receiving fluids on Friday, but then really became overtired on Saturday. At that time, he was throwing up more and his fever came back up. Thankfully, after resting it went right back down.

So, on Sunday, we kept everything very low key, and even had him take a nap (which he does not usually do at home). He went willingly, and slept well both for his nap and last night for the first time in days. Finally today he seems to be feeling better. Cathy even told me that he ate well at lunch, and it sounds like the amount is almost equal to what he has eaten over the past week. And, the best part? He kept it down! Big deal around here. So, hopefully this will continue, and he can fill his tank before chemo again on Friday.

One more blip

So Logan has been doing pretty well. He has no appetite, but is keeping fluids down and playing like normal. So, it was a little bit of a surprise when he had a fever last night of 101.5. And, of course, this is the threshold at which we have to call the clinic, and maybe make a trip to the hospital. Thankfully, his doctor was the one on call last night and felt comfortable just having us watch him overnight and calling back if it went any higher or there were other symptoms. Well, Logan did not sleep well last night, and ended up spending half the night in bed with us. But overall, nothing worrisome. So, we brought him into the clinic this morning for blood cultures, and he is getting some IV fluids. He still has been throwing up some, so I think this is a good precaution for going into the weekend. He didn't even have a fever when they took it this morning, and it broke with no medications or anything. They ask that we do not give him any Tylenol or other meds that would mask a fever or other symptoms. He is currently enjoying a movie and getting his fluids. Then we will go home and see how he does.

Recovering

Well, yesterday and last night was no fun for Logan. But then he went to bed and slept nicely. He did wake up once and told me he needed to throw up, but did not actually do anything. Then at 5am this morning, I heard him calling and he said "I need to throw up, and I want juice." No throwing up, but he was definitely thirsty. I gave him small amounts until I was sure his stomach could handle it, and he kept asking for more. Once it was evident that he was going to keep it down, we even gave him some milk and cereal. He didn't eat any of the cereal, but drank plenty of fluids. Off I went to work, and he went to Cathy's. I checked on him during the day and he was doing fine. He did not eat much lunch, but again had plenty of fluids and then went down for a long nap. He still does not have an appetite or much energy, but is so much better than yesterday. It is a relief to us.

Rough chemo day

We were so happy that Logan passed to receive chemo today. On one hand, lets keep this train rolling. On the other hand, what were we thinking? Our poor little man. This was the roughest aftermath of chemo to date.

The clinic visit started out pretty well. Logan is pretty hilarious when they sedate him for the lumbar punctures. They inject the first medicine and he starts in with the giggles. We are not sure what is so funny, maybe he is seeing double of all of us, but he just cannot stop laughing. And of course that makes us laugh too, which makes for a nice lightening of the moment. Logan endured his procedure just fine, and then the two other chemos into his port. As he started to come out of the sedation, he wanted to be up and around but had to stay flat for an hour. It was work, but he did it and even scarfed down two Pop Tarts. He was ready to go play with his friends at daycare.

Then on the way, he tanked. He started looking like he did not feel well, and was asking to go home. At that point, I still had some time before I was supposed to be back at work so we went home to see how he did. When I unbuckled his carseat and took him out, he was so sweaty and just clung to me. I put him on the couch and turned on a movie, but before long he was telling me his tummy hurt. I rushed him into the bathroom, and he promptly threw up everything in his poor little stomach. After that he felt a little better, but couldn't even keep the Zofran down. Poor little guy, he is not keeping fluids down at this point, and has thrown up several times throughout the day. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow. Send all of your positive thoughts, energy, prayers, well wishes, etc. to Logan for a better day tomorrow.

Thanks so much to Leigh who answered her phone 5 minutes before school was out (a very busy time for her), and grabbed Alexis from her class and took her to the office instead of waiting for me to be late in the car loop in the pouring rain after frantically cleaning Logan up after he was sick again. Also another HUGE thanks to Stacey for helping me clean up after Logan threw up at the dance studio (I swear he was doing better and had even kept the Zofran down at that point). Stacey knows how it is, since her daughter has Leukemia too and is just a few months ahead of Logan in her treatment. Still, cleaning up after someone else's sick child is above and beyond.

Here is Logan sleeping this afternoon. Of course he falls asleep shortly before we needed to leave to pick his sister up from school:

And back up, Logan passes!

Logan had an appointment today for a finger poke to check and see if his levels were high enough to have chemo tomorrow. He went in and was very cordial to all the ladies (this is a big improvement as he usually hides behind me). He cooperated pretty well with his finger poke, and...he passed. His platelets are still good, and his ANC was up to 1000. Yeah!

No other real news to report, which is good news in and of itself. Logan has been running around like a typical 3 year old boy having fun. Here is a picture of him wearing his new helmet that he picked out himself complete with scull and crossbones on the side and a rubber spiked mohawk:

Numbers go up, numbers go down

I took Logan into the clinic yesterday for a blood check since his platelet count had drastically dropped last week. They just wanted to get another count before the weekend. Amazingly, his count had shot right back up from 83,000 to almost 250,000. That was good news. The not so great news was that his ANC (which is a calculation of various white blood cells) had gone down from 1000 to 700. This is not horrible, but he does have to be over 750 to get chemo. So we are hoping that is also on the upswing and will recover enough by the Monday blood check to get chemo on Tuesday.

Do these numbers really tell the story of how Logan is doing. No Way! He is doing so well and acting like he feels on top of the world. He is running around, and has a great amount of energy. He is definitely keeping us entertained. Nothing is slowing him down, and we are enjoying it right now.