Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from Logan! Despite having a cough and runny nose, it was a great day for Logan. He came downstairs to see that Santa had left the remote control car that he had requested. Logan then proceeded to open many gifts including Thor's hammer, a Hulk mask and smashing hands, a Spiderman hoodie, a Giant Ironman Fathead (that came with several other smaller Fatheads), two more Avengers night lights for his room (Ironman's hand and Spiderman's hand), some Avengers clothes, and Thor, Wolverine, and Spiderman action figures. There were also quite a few more Avengers and non-Avengers themed gifts. Overall it was a wonderful day to connect with family both here and afar.

Eventful day

Today was a big day all around. We woke up to find our final 12th day of Christmas mystery gift on the front porch from our Secret Santa. It was hot cocoa mix and many baked goodies along with a card. Our Secret Santa is...Cindy! The registrar/Principal's secretary/organizer extraordinaire/all around amazing lady from our daughter's school. We get to see Cindy when in the school, and I also had the great fortune of working with her last year as part of this amazing school when they had a preschool. As I had said earlier, I wanted to be able to say thank you. I was afraid that we would not eventually know the identity, so I devised a plan. We wrote our thank you notes to leave out on the porch along with a pan of homemade cinnamon rolls ready to pop into the oven along with some icing. It was fun to leave out something ourselves to give back and express our gratitude.

We had to take Logan to the clinic today because he has a nasty cough, and they just checked him out to make sure all was fine. They sent us home with no medicine, but at least we know his counts are good. He is doing pretty well, and we just put him in a steamy bathroom a few times each day.

Also today, Alexis, Logan's sister made a big move: she donated her very long hair to Childhood Leukemia Foundation/Wigs for Kids. We originally talked about it about a month ago (when her hair was in her plate yet again). But we gave her a long time to think about it, and she brought it back up on her own and said she wanted to do it. Here are some before and after pictures:

Befuddled

Logan has been doing well. You would not know that he had chemo on Tuesday, and we are definitely happy that he is in this new phase of treatment. I know that it is still hard on him, but it does not get to him like the last one did. He is still playing, with no sickness. Yeah!

So, now to the befuddled part: We have been receiving gifts from a Secret Santa (this is what I named him/her/them). I have mentioned it before, but not in depth. Each morning we find a gift sitting on our front steps, often with the newspaper sitting next to it. It started ten days ago, with "On the first day of Christmas, a good friend gave to me...A bright and shiny Christmas tree." In the package was a sparkly green tree ornament with all of our names on it. Then next day it was "Two small toys for good girls and boys." Then "Three books to read, with mom you'll plead," "Four items to share, one each to wear (they were winter hats)," "Something to toast this bright morn. Only eight more days till Christ is born. (this time it was sparkling apple juice with goblets to drink from)" Then "Six pieces of candy, isn't that just dandy?" "Seven things to delight a family movie night!" which had movies, popcorn and candy all included. "Eight warm sox, wrapped up in a box" "Some music to play while decorating cookies today (which had music, but also everything needed to bake and decorate cookies and cupcakes)." And then today "Ten shiny snowflakes, for heaven sakes" and included ten snowflake ornaments for our tree.

It is such a treat for the kids each morning, they are so excited to open the door and see what is in store for them. It is also perplexing to us: Who is this Secret Santa? I thought I had it figured out, but then we started to wonder. We thought it was a neighbor, but there were clues to the contrary. Then, thanks to our light dusting of snow last night, there are another couple of clues. First, apparently the Secret Santa is driving to our house as we noticed the footprints led to tire tracks in the street not to another house and the tracks make a U-turn and then leave our street. This mystery person also apparently wears Birkenstocks. Unfortunately, these clues do not really help me. Hmmm... But, I do hope this person reads this blog, because the closer it gets to Christmas day, I suspect we may not learn their identity. But I want to know. Why? Well, mostly, so I can say thank you an give a big hug for this random act of kindness that has brought such joy to my children and our family. It is so encouraging to know that such kindness and love exists in the world. Thank you! Here is a pic of Logan in one of his Christmas shirts:

Looking good

We have had a good few days. Logan is feeling well, and he passed to have chemo today. He did have a little trouble sleeping this weekend though. He woke up Saturday evening about an hour after he went to bed. He needed a diaper change, and then did not want to go back to sleep. He really wanted to sleep with mom and dad, and when that did not work he wanted mommy to sleep with him. It got pretty bad and he even started screaming. He has never done that before, so it was really difficult. Thankfully Eric was able to get him calmed down. He just wouldn't calm down with me, I guess because he wanted to be in bed with me. But he is doing much better and sleeping these past couple of nights just fine.

We also wanted to say thank you to the strangers eating dinner next to us Saturday night for picking up our bill without our knowledge. A couple was eating with what seemed to be their grandchildren and wished us a happy holidays as they left. Then when we went to pay, our waiter informed us that they had payed for our dinner. We did not even get the chance to say thank you for this random act of kindness, and I know they will probably never read this. But I had to at least spread the word that there is selflessness out there.

Here is Logan/Thor and Alexis with our gift on the first day of Christmas (from our secret Santa).

Grateful

Logan has been doing pretty well. His appetite is fluctuating, but is eating pretty well at least once a day. He is back to some strange cravings for no apparent reason. He wanted chicken nuggets for breakfast the other day for example. No big deal. He even went back to daycare today to see his friends. I know he misses them because he talks about his friends and Cathy. He was pretty excited today.

I, on the other hand, am a little emotional. I don't know if it is the holidays and just the generally hectic time, or what. I know that I have ready about many kids with cancer relapsing lately or who have been told there are no more treatment options or who have even passed recently (or will imminently). It is hitting me hard right now. I cannot even fully read some of the posts, watch the videos, because I just fall apart. Cancer sucks. There is no doubt about it. There is nothing pretty about it. It does not give you the option of opting out, choosing what is behind door #2, or just ignoring it. Yes, I am beyond grateful for a treatment that is working. Yes, I am grateful for all of the people who are supporting us, sending love, prayers, well wishes, etc. I have met some amazing people, and am happy to know them and hopefully support them too. I just wish we had met under drastically different circumstances. Hang in there friends.

Here is a cute picture of my handsome man for a pick me up after reading that.

Good weekend

Logan had a pretty good weekend, and even felt energetic enough to go to the open house at the new Children's Hospital that is way closer to our house than the main one. We saw the new clinic where Logan's doctors are moving in January, and it is pretty fancy. Definitely different from the small office we go to now. It seems that it is bitter sweet for them and us. It is more of a hospital environment and bigger, but they are hoping to still maintain the family like atmosphere. We hope so, because we love all of the doctors, nurses, and staff at the clinic.

He also got to see his best friend Weston, who he has missed so much through this isolation time. It was a nice little time to play together and have fun for the two buddies.

A huge thank you for two unexpected and very welcome gifts from friends. Thanks to Karyn for the "date night" gift cards for dinner and a movie. And thank you to Pam for the Whole Foods card so we can get some groceries/take out (probably the second one).

Here is a picture of Logan and Alexis playing in the giant snow globe at the Children's Hospital:

Big Day

We went in this morning for Logan's spinal and chemo. He was a trooper, but it was rough going for a little while. Each time he goes in for the spinal puncture and they sedate him, he gets more and more emotional. He used to be just super giggly, but now he varies from giggling to sobbing. It is pretty heart breaking, but once the sedation wears off he is the same happy boy. He was feeling pretty good, so we decided to go ahead and go up to the Make a Wish event. It was pretty crazy, and they watched out for him since he had just finished treatment and was tired. He had a wonderful time, thanks to our Wish volunteer, Nancy. She was amazing and helped him separate, go in, shop, sit on Santa's lap, and overall just have a great time. He stayed perky, and did not have any trouble. We then grabbed some lunch and drove home. In the car, he seemed to crash and get a little grumpy. But then he fell asleep and all was right again. He was so tired that he did not even wake up when I took him out of the car (that has never happened!). Logan did wake up a little when I took his boots and coat off, but then just snuggled back into me. Then I took a chance and took him into his room to lay down on the bed. This would normally make him startle awake and claim he did not want to take a nap, but this time he just smiled and said "Thank you Mommy." He curled up, and stayed asleep for a good nap. Hopefully this will be an uneventful evening and weekend with no ill effects from his treatment.

Onward we march

We went in today for blood counts to see if Logan passes to have chemo tomorrow. I was not sure what to hope for, expect, etc. On one hand, they have been saying that usually the kids do not pass on the first try after the Delayed Intensification phase. But on the other hand, he would have passed early last week when he went in and needed blood. The numbers that they look at to need blood are different numbers than the ones that pass you for chemo. On top of that he has had an extra week and a half for his bone marrow to recover from all the chemo he had last month. Well...he passed. His platelets are over 300,000. His ANC is 800. And, incidentally his hemoglobin is now 11.2 which is great. No wonder he has pretty decent energy.

On to the next phase we go! This new phase is called Interim Maintenance II, and it is essentially like the IM I phase which was right before DI. He goes every 10 days for chemo with Vincristine and escalating doses of Methotrexate in his port. Except for tomorrow which he gets Methotrexate in his spinal fluid. Oh, the dreaded spinal chemo. It seems to still hit him hard no matter what we do. He does much better when they give him fluids and stay flat for an hour, but still has more of an upset tummy later in the day with that than just with the regular chemo in his port. Hopefully he will be ok. He has been invited to the Make a Wish store tomorrow. He is given "wish bucks" and he can purchase a few gifts for family/friends and even get something for himself. Logan is really excited about going shopping for himself.

Right now, we are just trying to stay warm (it is -2 outside right now). And keep plugging on. Here he is with Melissa from the clinic getting ready for his finger poke.

Santa is coming!

This is all we hear. We decorated for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. It was a full and busy day, but fun for both kids. Now, all we hear is: "It's Christmas!" and "Santa is coming!" as in, he is coming tonight. Well, we even went and bought a countdown calendar/tree so the kids could see how many days until actual Christmas day. It is helping a little, but it is still a very exciting time and I think it will be a long month waiting for the kids. But, Logan is doing pretty well. He is still pretty perky after his blood transfusion last week. We hope that he does well enough through the week to pass for chemo on Friday. If he does pass, then he will start the next phase of chemo which is called Interim Maintenance II. This is a similar phase to the IM I a few months ago, but is starts at a higher dose of chemo and escalates each time. That is the last phase before Maintenance which is the last (though long) phase of Logan's treatment. There is actually a light at the end of this "intense phase" tunnel we have been in since the beginning.

Giving thanks

Happy Thanksgiving from Logan and our family! As hard as this year has been for us, we still have so much to be thankful for. Logan is responding to treatment, and he is feeling pretty good right now (extra feisty since his blood transfusion). His hair is starting to grow back a little. We are thankful for our entire family. Eric and I have two great kids in Alexis and Logan. We also are thankful for Nene and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, all of whom have been traveling here to Colorado from Oklahoma often to help us keep Logan isolated and healthy during this difficult phase of chemo. We are thankful for Big Granny, Big Papa, Uncle B, Aunt Nic, and the kids' new cousin Emma. We are also thankful for all of the extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc that are all supporting us from afar. I would also add the vast family of friends and supporters that we have here at home and across the country through Logan's support page. You are all loved and appreciated by our family.

Almost...

Logan has been a little more energetic, though still quite pale. We were hoping he was on the upswing and would not need blood today, but we were wrong. We went in for his blood counts, and got some good and bad news. His platelets are holding strong over 100,000, and his ANC is 800. Those are pretty good numbers, and if he were due for chemo tomorrow he would pass. But, then they took a look at his hemoglobin, and it was 6.4. That meant a trip up to the Children's Hospital for a blood transfusion. Bummer. Oh, well. Maybe this will perk him up a little for Thanksgiving and he will feel better. He has been doing better, but still very needy and a bit cranky. It would have helped if he napped over the weekend, but he would have none of that. I wanted to say thanks to Sheri for bringing dinner last week. Here is a picture of Logan eating his chicken nuggets waiting on his blood, and another of him napping on the way to the hospital:

Squeaked by again

Logan has been feeling more tired and is pretty pale, so we figured he may need blood or platelets today after his lab check. We went in, and is is still holding in there. His hemoglobin was 7.7 (they would transfuse under 7), and his platelets are still good at 119,000 (they give him some if below 10,000). So that was good news since we did not have to go up to the main Children's Hospital. Logan's ANC is still showing up as 0, but there were some more white cells in there when compared to last time.

Logan has been pretty pitiful the last few days, but still is staying positive. He is such as trooper, and we are so proud of him. He gets tired, and is nauseous a lot. He does not eat much, and his tummy hurts when he does eat. But, you can see him bouncing around and playing in between all that when he has a burst of energy. He is currently falling asleep on the couch each afternoon for at least a couple of hours, even though he normally does not nap at home. But, at least this gives him the energy to push through and play in the evenings. My little man is hanging in there, and he will even tell you: "Bald is Brave."

Zero?!?!

Well, we took Logan in for labs today to check his numbers. He is in a phase of his treatment that he may need a blood transfusion or platelets, so we are going in twice a week just for lab checks. I made a gamble and did not put numbing cream on his port just hoping that his numbers would be fine. Well, the gamble paid off, and no blood or platelets were needed. His hemoglobin was 8.2 (must be below 7 to transfuse), and his platelets were 152,000 (must be below 10,000 to give him some).  But, his ANC is 0. Yes, 0, which I did not even know was possible. Essentially the white cells were so low that it was impossible to even calculate an ANC. This just means that he is very susceptible to infection, illness, etc. We have kept him home from daycare, and plan to keep him isolated for at least the next three weeks. They expect his other numbers to go down, and will recheck on Friday to see if he needs blood or platelets. Hopefully he will stay well, because with no immune system he will go directly to the hospital even with a little fever. The good news is that he still has some energy, though it comes in bursts. He can be pretty feisty most of the time, but is also a little happier than last week. He is all done with me giving him shots of chemo (yea for that!). Here is a picture from a few days ago as he starts to make his Christmas list:

Finally the week is over

This has been a long and trying week. Logan has just not been himself. He is whining, crying, and very needy. I don't think he feels great, but then he pushes through and plays like a champ. But, when we went in for chemo today, it got even harder. He didn't want me to put the numbing cream on his port. Then he wanted to be carried into the clinic. He was pretty clingy getting his blood pressure taken, and then would not let go when we took him into a room. Once in there, he stuck to me like glue. Needless to say it was not a smooth visit for accessing his port and getting the chemo. He even asked for a finger poke instead of the "Bob poke." But, he needed chemo so we had no choice. Thankfully it was just a quick blood draw and one small amount of chemo. It didn't take too long, and he was done with that. He had a quick check and we talked about his numbers. His ANC is down, but still pretty good at 800. Hemoglobin is down to 9, but that is not too bad considering all the chemo he has had over the past week. So, he is holding strong, but will probably get lower next week. We have made arrangements for family to come back over the next few weeks so we can keep him isolated as much as possible. We go in next on Tuesday for a blood check, and we are hoping he does not need any blood products at that time. Wish us an uneventful weekend.

Thanks to Joyful Givings for sending the kids a care package. They really appreciate it.

Better update

Logan is doing much better with eating and energy. Though he has been acting a little off yesterday and this morning. He was really sad when I had to go to work yesterday, which did not make leaving any easier. Last night, he just had a little breakdown at bedtime. For some reason he did not want to go to bed, and felt that if he had to go to bed, Mommy should stay with him. This is very unusual for him. We gave him some extra TLC and he settled down and went to sleep. Then, at 5:20 this morning, I hear a very chipper voice: "Mommy, my tummy hurts." Yes, you read that correctly, he was chipper. You see, my son is not dumb. He is charming and smart and knows how to wield this power. He also knows what will get me out of bed at 5:20 in the morning instead of ignoring him in hopes he will go back to sleep or entertain himself at the very least. If he says his tummy hurts or he needs to throw up, I will inevitably go in to help. So, I accompany him to the bathroom, where he pretends to dry heave, then looks at me and says "I tried." Then we went and snuggled in bed for about 10 minutes. It was nice to have snuggles, but there was no hope of going back to sleep with him in my bed. Then he started talking, and I figured he was ready to get up. So, we got up and situated him on the couch and I went to get ready. Now, don't get me wrong, I believed that he did not feel wonderful. But he was still pretty chipper all morning, so really I think he is fine.

We finally got him his reward for taking shots at home, a giant Spiderman balloon. When asked what he wanted for being such a brave boy, all he could think of was a balloon. Even when given the choice of a toy, book, movie, anything else, he did not want anything else. When we went to the store to get it, I again asked if we should get him anything in addition to the balloon, and his reply was: "We should get another balloon for Alexis." Doesn't that just melt your heart? He is the sweetest.

Strong little man

I forgot over the weekend to say thank you to Peggy and Susan for bringing food last week. It was very much appreciated and came at a time when I did not have a spare moment or ounce of time or energy to spare.

Logan continues to recover from his long chemo Friday. Even though he had several other chemos that day, we really think it is the spinal chemo that does it to him. He is able to pretty much take it all in stride with a little nausea, until he has those doses. He often has headaches, even though we have him lay flat for an hour and have them give him fluids each time. Unfortunately right now we cannot even give him anything for the pain because it could mask a fever. And he just seems to crash later in the day with those spinal doses. I guess at least he does not have those every time, but it is hard on him when he does.

Good news is that he is starting to eat more, and is perking up nicely. He is playing and smiling, and even likes jumping around in the leaves outside (after they have been raked into a pile, of course). He is such a trooper when it comes to taking his medicine. Right now he has oral chemo each night and the medicine for nausea, and then on the weekends he has the antibiotic to prevent pneumonia. Not to mention those fun shots each morning. At lease we gave him the last one of those this morning (until we start giving them again this weekend). He is so strong, and just accepts it as part of life. I am so proud of him, that words cannot express all the feelings. He makes me stronger, and I am so lucky to have him in my life. This has to keep working.

Rough couple of days...

Sorry for the late update on how Logan is doing, but it has been a pretty busy/crazy couple of days. Logan was a trooper for his all day clinic visit on Friday for chemo. We arrived at 8 am, and he promptly had his port accessed and they started his fluids for "pre-hydration." Apparently the chemo he received on Friday can be pretty toxic to the kidneys, so they do lots of IV fluids before and after giving it. Logan did pretty well for his spinal chemo and sedation for that. Unfortunately, Logan is starting to have fluctuating emotions during his sedation. He used to just become really giggly, but now he fluctuates between crying and giggling. It is a little pitiful, but we just snuggle him and get through it. They then gave him his Cytoxin, and then four more hours of fluids. Daddy went and brought back some lunch, and we just continued to watch movies and try and occupy Logan. The nurse then came in to teach us how to give Logan his chemo shots at home for the next few days (and another few days in a week). Yes, I now have chemotherapy in my fridge. It is a little unsettling to see the bright yellow hazard bag with warnings all over it sitting next to the yogurt. But, Logan has done great with getting his shots the last two days. He does not like it any more than I like giving them to him, but he is doing better than expected.

So, after we got home Friday at a little before 4 pm, we got settled and Logan did start to slow down a little from his bouncing ways. Then just as we were about to eat dinner, he really got sick. Poor thing was so nauseous that he really hasn't eaten much or kept it down since then. He did eat a couple of crackers at one point yesterday, and he is keeping his medicine down so that is good. We are back on a medicine that he has to take at night on an empty stomach. That is a little tricky considering it is hard to keep him awake until his 7:30 bedtime, but on the other hand he is not eating much so that makes it easier.

He does seem to be feeling a little better today, so here is hoping it stays that way! Here are a couple of pictures from Logan at the clinic on Friday:

Here we go

Well, it was an eventful day at the clinic today. Logan went in for a finger poke, and the results came back the same as last week. ANC 500, so that means he would not pass for chemo again this week. But they looked at the results, and thought it warranted a second look. They had the doctor look at a slide of Logan's blood under the microscope and manually calculate the number again. He said that often this is a more accurate number, and it came out as 1800 which is plenty high to pass for chemo. Why would it be so off? They had no explanation, but at least it means that we can get on with this phase. We go in for a full day at the clinic tomorrow starting at 8am. More tomorrow...but first, a couple of pictures of Logan practicing his funny faces for the camera:

Wow

Logan is having a good week. He is playing and being his crazy self. We are enjoying this time in which we can take him around others, while still being vigilant in keeping him away from germs and friends who are sick. (A special thank you to Colton's mom, who kept her son home an extra day from daycare just to make sure Logan was safe) I was having a bit of a crabby evening last night and this morning, but woke up to find Logan's page's likes had jumped to over 100, and had doubled by the time I was finished with work today. Amazing! I had not really been promoting or sharing much other than just updates on Logan's progress, so it was no wonder it had a slow start. But, thanks to another little warrior fighting out there, we have increased support and more thoughts, prayers, and well wishes coming our way. We appreciate all that support and outpouring of love.

Logan goes in tomorrow for a finger poke to check his labs and see if he is good to go for chemo tomorrow. If he passes, then he has chemo all day on Friday. As much as I am not looking forward to this next month of intense chemo, I am ready to get going with it.

Thanks to Jen from work for the gift card for dinner last night, our favorite!

Here is Logan's little charming self (he loves to wiggle his eyebrows at us):

Great support

Throughout this battle with leukemia we have found that we have a really great support system, that includes a community that is so willing to give and lift us up. We were the recipients of this generosity yet again this past weekend. Our daughter is on a new soccer team this year because her "old" coach was not coaching anymore. This led us to join a new team with some old friends, and now many new ones. They have welcomed us, and supported us. Many of the families ask about Logan and how he is doing each week. And this past weekend, at the last game, we were presented with a gift bag that held many giftcards that will buy several meals for our family and also some treats (Build a Bear and Coldstone). We are again left astounded and unable to fully express our gratitude. Thank you to the families of the Super Pink Sparkles! The S to the P to the S!

Logan has been doing really well through the weekend, though we do not stray far from home (or really the clinic just in case). He is fond of telling people (while pointing to his head) "I don't have any hair!" He also tells everyone "My dad looks like Uncle B!" which he kind of does right now. Here is a picture of Logan watching a movie with his sister:

Happiness and Frustration

Logan is doing really well. He had so much fun dressing up yesterday and trick or treating. He wore his costume to watch his sister in her school parade, he went to his daycare party, and also went to the clinic for labs dressed as Iron Man. Everyone got a kick out of, and he had lots of fun. His energy has been great, and he was even a little sad when we were finished Trick or Treating wanting to go longer. Though he was certainly getting tired, since we had needed to carry him the last few houses.

Well, he did not pass his counts to have chemo today, but his counts are better. They are improving, but not quite high enough for this next round. So, he gets a reprieve for a week. They said he can go to daycare, and he should hold steady for a couple of weeks and then his numbers will probably be back down. But, for now, we are going to enjoy him having some energy and feeling fine.

On a more frustrating note, we (us and the doctors/nurses/etc.) have had a hard time locating the medication Logan is supposed to take this next month. Apparently there is a market shortage, but many people have been working on it and we think we have found some.

Thanks to Cindy who brought dinner on Tuesday, and Susan who is bringing it tonight.

Time to reflect

We are so thankful that Logan is responding to treatment so well. It could be so much worse, and we are reminded of that again today. My cousin Rick's wife, Michelle, just passed away last night after a long and hard-fought battle with cancer. It is tough news, and brings forth the harsh reality of this horrible disease. It does not discriminate, it does not judge. It can happen to wonderful people, people with or without families, elderly or children. There is no rhyme or reason, it just does not make sense. All we can ask is that you hold your loved ones tight, take a minute to think about those who are no longer with us, and advocate for a cure.

Here is a picture of Logan eating all of the sausage off of the pizza last night (with the exception of the pieces that were on his sister's portion). He still has that steroid appetite, and puts a smile on our faces at such a hard time.

We also want to thank Jen, Rich, and their family for bringing some clothes over for Logan and also for the lovely card and gift card for dinner. It was great to see you guys, we will have to get together for longer next time.

We took the plunge

Well, it lasted five months with minimal hair loss, but that is over now. After receiving the third dose of Doxorubicin, Logan's hair starting falling out last Saturday. Now, he had a lot of hair to begin with, so he still looked ok this morning. But it was considerably thinner, so we decided to take control. Logan was not super excited, but we shaved what was left of his hair. What he was excited about however, was getting to help shave Daddy's hair. This was really the only incentive he had to cooperate, but as usual he was a trooper. As you can see, he has filled out considerably over the past week due to the steroids and increased appetite. He has been cranky too, so we are glad they are over for now so he can hopefully go back to himself. He is also having some foot pain that we think may be chemotherapy induced neuropathy. It seems to come and go, so hopefully it will not stick around too long. Here is a picture of my handsome men:

Still holding strong

Logan went in for a finger poke today to check his labs before the weekend. His numbers are down a little, but he is still doing pretty well. His ANC is 1000, platelets over 200,000 and hemoglobin 10.4. They think he is doing well, and should pass for chemo next week (hopefully). Though if his numbers are too low for chemo, he should still be pretty good.

On another note, thank you to my doctor (Dr Becker) for taking some extra time with me today. I went in for a check up today, and I had not seen her since Logan's diagnosis. For some reason, I just started crying when she came in. Thankfully, she spent some extra time with me to really listen, even giving me her number if I need anything. She is pretty amazing.

Stay tuned for a surprise this weekend...

Looking better

Well, Logan's numbers have gone up some, though part of that can be attributed to the steroids "falsely" raising them. But they seemed to have a bigger jump than the doctors were expecting, so that is good. His ANC is back up to 1300, and his platelets are 198,000. They do expect them to be lower by Friday, but seem to think they will go up next week as long as he does not get sick. In the meantime, he is staying close to home. Logan has not been feeling great, and he mainly just wants to watch TV. But here is a video of him when he had a burst of energy last week and decided to ride his horse:

And down they go...

Logan has been doing great. He has lots of energy, and has been having plenty of fun. So, I was a little surprised with his numbers today after his finger poke. I know that we are expecting his numbers to go down, and that the steroids were supposedly making them look good last week, but they are down significantly now. His ANC is now 300 (down from 1300 last week, and we are happy with anything over about 750-1000), and he is classified as neutropenic. His platelets are around 38,000 (down from over 500,000 last week). Good news on his hemoglobin is that it actually went up and is 11.4 which is almost in the "normal range." Also, they are not low enough to need any blood products yet. So, this is the drop we have been waiting and preparing for. He really should not go out in public, and needs to avoid anyone who is remotely sick. Logan is at a very high risk of getting sick or an infection. We are on high alert, and this is a time in which he will automatically go to the hospital if he spikes a fever because it can get very serious very quickly. Unfortunately, it cancels plans to go to the indoor pool tomorrow. Oh well, keeping him healthy is much more important. My only problem will be to keep him entertained, because he feels just fine and wants to go out and do fun things and play with all his friends. He does not let anything get him down. In fact, Logan and Alexis decided that we needed to go on a picnic and play at the park on Tuesday. I don't think they noticed that it was snowing the whole time!

A fun night at Hockey Fights Cancer

We had a great time last night with the Craic Addicts enjoying a suite at the Avs game. The kids were so excited about going to see a hockey game, and it just kept getting better. We went from club level tickets to being upgraded to a suite at the last minute. This was pretty fun for us all, but the kids loved having our own little space. Logan was getting pretty into the game, and was cheering and jumping up and down. How he maintained his super high level of energy without getting cranky until 3 hours past his bedtime, I do not know. But he did so well! Both Alexis and Logan are asking when we can go to another game.

I wanted to send out a thanks to Candice and Seth for sending over meatballs for a crockpot meal. That is what's for dinner tonight, we can't wait!

Logan goes tomorrow for a finger poke just to check his counts, and then back on Friday for chemo. Hopefully his counts are good, because the kids really want to go to the pool on Friday morning. Fingers crossed!

A little behind

OK, sorry, but I have not updated this in over a week. We have just been pretty busy with chemo, soccer, grandma and grandpa, and just life in general. Logan has been doing great. He is tolerating the new chemo drug pretty well so far. He did well on his first week of steroids. He was a little grumpy and easy to melt down, but overall did well. Not too many withdrawal symptoms after stopping those. He goes back on the steroids this Friday for another week. So, currently, all is well.

Many thanks that I am late/behind on sending: Thanks to Senora Teresa for bringing dinner about a week and a half ago, Thanks to Pam for bringing dinner on Tuesday, Misty for a gift card for dinner, and my SRE team for giving us a gift card for dinner. Thanks to Donna S. for sending a box of Halloween goodies for the kids. They were really excited to open it. And I will just get a jump on thanks that are in order for tonight. Thanks to Leigh Q for bringing dinner tonight, and to the Craic Addicts for giving us tickets to the Avalanche  hockey game tonight (Look for Logan to be introduced as a Team Hero on the Craic Addicts site today).
Here are some pictures of Logan at the Pumpkin festival on Saturday. He is with Alexis and his friend Weston making masks, and then very excited about his jumbo corndog:

Not so bad

Logan is doing pretty good. After chemo on Friday, he was just a little tired. He did throw up once in the late afternoon, but has not since then. So that is good news. He has been tired and a little easy to melt down, that is in addition to the dark circles under his eyes. He looks pale, but he is still playing and having fun. He played outside today which is good. Logan is still being a typical kid with what he wants to do. Other good news is that he is eating pretty well. That is probably due to the effects of the steroids, but he could use the calories. He is back to not having a spare ounce on his little body. So, we just keep trucking along and go back for chemo on Tuesday. It is one that he has not had since he was in the hospital, and we hope he tolerates it as well as he did the first time.

Next Phase: Delayed Intensification

Today Logan started the next phase in his almost 3.5 years of treatment for his Leukemia. This phase is aptly named Delayed Intensification. Sounds fun, huh? They are actually warning us that this is worse than the first month, and we all remember that that month was rough. So, we start today with chemo in his spinal fluid, one of the same chemos in his port, a new chemo in his port (nicknamed "red death" doesn't that sound awesome?) and he goes back on the steroids (a higher dose than before). The good news is that the steroids are for 7 days, then 7 days off, then another steroids for 7 days. Then he is done with them for this phase. He could probably benefit from an increased appetite for a little while. Logan has lost weight over the past couple of months, that you can actually see the catheter that goes up from his port under the skin. Next week he has chemo on Tuesday, and Friday (none in the spinal fluid, yeah!). After that, he has chemo on the next Friday which is when he starts the second week of steroids. Then he has an off week, and has to pass his counts to start the second half of this phase. We are expecting him to have low counts due to the new medicine, and have planned to keep him more isolated even from daycare. I think he will miss his friends, but will enjoy being home with family including Grandma, Grandpa for a week, myself for a week over fall break, and Nene (and maybe Papa) for a week after that.

Here he is, ready to take on this next phase:

And here is with Iron Man checking in for chemo today:

Humbled

Logan is doing great. He had his heart test last week, and it went well. We are just waiting to go in for a finger poke tomorrow afternoon to see if he passes to start the next phase: Delayed Intensification. Not so excited about this phase, but ready to get it started so we can get through it.

I continue to be humbled by the outpouring of love and support. As I have mentioned before, I have a hard time accepting offers of help. That is my job to offer help and support to others, not the other way around. But, we continue to feel the love. I just wanted to send out a thank you to Rebecca for dropping by some clothes for Logan as well as gifts for both Alexis and Logan. Also a big thanks to Elizabeth for bringing dinner Tuesday evening for our family despite having driven back from an out of state funeral that same day. Amazing. Also thanks to all who are sending positive thoughts, well wishes, prayers, etc our way. It is all greatly appreciated. How can you not smile looking at this face?

A few thanks

I just needed to say thank you to Jodi for providing dinner for our family last Sunday evening, and Jordana for bringing Chili's on Monday. Also thank you to Pam for organizing a meal train starting next week around the same time the more intense chemo starts. Thanks to Tricia and her family for the gift cards that will provide dinner to our family on whichever stressful day I just can't get homemade food onto the table. We are so fortunate for all the love and support. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I included a picture of Logan during his test on Friday. He was still sporting his Spiderman face, and of course he was armed with his snacks.

Just a test

On this "week off" from chemo and clinic visits, Logan will make a trip up to the main campus of Children's Hospital. He has to undergo an echo-cardiogram to check how his heart is functioning. This is routine, and he has to have this done because one of the chemotherapy drugs he will start next week poses a risk to his heart. A fancy word: cardiotoxicity, that just means it can damage his heart. Like many of his chemo drugs, the potential side effects are often quite significant. It is really no choice, but it still stinks. The hope is that he does not have any ill-effects, but there is no guarantee. From heart damage and nerve damage to secondary cancers, I try not to think about potential side effects. This is not something I can control. I will think positively and hope for the best. Logan is a strong little superhero, and he is just going along like any other little 3 year old.

Make a Wish

Because of his diagnosis, Logan qualifies for a wish from the Make a Wish foundation. We met a few weeks ago with our Make a Wish volunteers Nancy and Dawn. I am just now posting about it because things were still so much up in the air. We were no closer to deciding upon a wish for Logan than we were before the meeting. If anything, we were more confused. We cannot travel until March at the soonest, so there is no hurry to make a decision.

Logan is obsessed with the Avengers and all things Superhero. He loves sports and cars including the Disney Cars movies. What to do? The initial interview process was several questions while they just tried to get know Logan and his favorites, interests, etc. The more we talked with Nancy and Dawn, we were leaning toward a trip to Disneyland. They have the new Cars attraction there, and we think Logan will love that. They also have plenty for Alexis and the whole family to love. And it would mean a return to California, where Eric and I lived for almost 6 years and where Alexis was born.

Then we started to wonder, would this be special enough for his wish? Is this something we could give our kids? Nancy and Dawn have been great in answering questions and they are investigating if we can incorporate some superhero visits. While it may be the wish of Logan's mom and dad to meet Robert Downey Jr, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, and the whole cast of Avengers, we do not think it would mean as much to Logan as meeting his favorite characters in costume (Bummer for Mom and Dad). And meeting actual famous people is a separate wish from a trip.

Stay tuned, but in the mean time, check out Make a Wish Colorado's site or the national site for details about this wonderful organization that is putting a bright spot in a tough fight for many kids.

Here is a picture of Logan with his new haircut:

Want a night off?

You can take the night off from cooking tonight and support St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. Chili's restaurants are donating their proceeds from today. Win/win. St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is internationally recognized for its pioneering research and treatment of children with cancer and other catastrophic diseases. Ranked one of the best pediatric cancer hospitals in the country, St. Jude is the first and only National Cancer Institute-designated Comprehensive Cancer Center devoted solely to children. Check out St. Jude's website for more information. Logan will be eating food from Chili's tonight thanks to our friend and fellow cancer survivor Jordana. Here are some pictures of Logan enjoying his weekend including lunch at Freddy's and watching fireworks.

Still holding strong

Logan did well after chemo yesterday. He came home, actually ate dinner, and played outside until dark. We came in and gave him some Zofran just to keep ahead of any nausea, and off he went to bed. He even slept late this morning, which he rarely does. Logan is currently chowing down on cereal, and it is nice to see he has not lost his appetite which just recovered this week. Hopefully the rest of the weekend will keep going this smoothly. Logan's big sister has soccer games, and it will be nice to have both kids feeling good.

Last dose...for now

Well, Logan passed his counts for chemo today. It was close, but he was good to go for an even higher dose of Methotrexate in his port in addition to the Vincristine also in the port. This is the last dose in this Interim Maintenance 1 phase. He now has almost two weeks of "rest" until he has to pass counts for Delayed Intensification. This is the next phase in which Logan must go back on steroids in addition to getting more (in amount and intensity) chemo. We have not been looking forward to this phase for many reasons. We really did not enjoy steroids during the Induction phase. Logan was cranky, hungry, and just not himself. He gained about 12 pounds, which he has since lost, and he was just so uncomfortable from the extra weight and also from the side effects of the steroids. No fun for my little man. This time around he only takes them for a week, then takes a week off, but then takes them for another week. But, the catch is that it is a much higher dose. We will see how it goes. But, the good news is we do not have to worry about it until October 4 (as long as his counts are good to start on time).

Chemo went well, and Logan took it like a champ. Now he has some recovery time before he has to pass counts. Here's hoping for an uneventful weekend.

Fingers crossed...

We are keeping our fingers crossed for many things right now: that Logan will not get sick since his sister has a fever, that he will pass his counts today for chemo tomorrow, that he will not be as sick after chemo this time, that I can go to work tomorrow (yes, really), and that we can have a calm, uneventful, vomit-free weekend. Too much to ask? Maybe. Except they are all related.

Alexis is still "sick." I put it like that because she has a fever, but really no other symptoms and today she does not want to sit still or lay around calmly. We hope that she just caught the virus that Logan had last week which just made the chemo reaction worse, instead of him getting this from her now. Hopefully she will be back at school tomorrow, which would lead to me going back to work. I have meetings with parents of one of my students tomorrow, plus, I feel the need to hoard all of my sick time for some unknown future need. Will Logan end up back in the hospital? What if he gets really sick? As you can tell, I do not do well with unknown variables over which I have no control. Yes, I admit it, I am a control freak. Just ask Eric. Not having control over cancer is killing me, but I am working on it. Really, I am.

We want this chemo train to keep moving and have no delays, but we also are hoping that Logan does not react to the two chemo medications in his port they way that he reacted to the two along with the lumbar puncture last week. There were many factors converging last week with the chemo. Not only did his dose of Methotrexate escalate as usual, but since he had a birthday since his last lumbar puncture, his dose of Methotrexate in his spinal fluid also went up. On top of that, apparently he was getting a virus, which led to a fever and trip to the clinic. All of that did not exactly add up to a good time.

But this week will be better. I know it, because despite all of those things we are surviving and loving each other. My kids and family are thriving despite cancer. It may take up a lot of our time right now, but it will not define us or rule us. Can't you just tell that this one is way more stubborn than cancer?

Yes, it is a picture from his birthday from last month, but it is cute and I didn't have one from yesterday.

Can't catch a break

Logan is doing great. He is finally eating, laughing and not throwing up. Something to celebrate for sure. Except, now his sister Alexis is sick. Poor thing just woke up with a headache and fever. Hopefully it is something that passes quickly. But Logan was very concerned and he felt Alexis needed to go the hospital because she had a fever. This was after he told us she needed medicine. Our little man knows just what happens when he gets a fever, and figures it is the same for everyone. Such a little caretaker.

What this day at home has given me some time for is creating and launching the official Facebook page for Logan the Cancer Avenger. This is a way to reach more people than just my personal page. Go check it out. Or, maybe you are here because of that page. Welcome. If you want the whole back story, I recommend going to the beginning of the blog. I would not recommend reading the entire blog, just because it is 3.5 months worth of posts. But you can always scan a few, including How it all Began and maybe Worst day of our lives (though that one is harder, even for me to go back and read). I scanned a few from that first month when I was looking for those posts to link, and I realized something. Even though we were really still struggling with the new diagnosis, I included little moments of humor or comments in those posts. I think with the craziness of going back to work and just getting things done, I have lost some of that. So, I will include one of the funnier quotes from Logan lately. As we have said, since he is so young we use the analogy of superheros and bad guys to explain chemo, leukemia, and what he is going through. Obviously the "bad guys" are the leukemia cells, the "superheros" are the medications and chemo. Well, since Logan is not potty trained, his skin gets really irritated after chemo treatments and we have to be diligent in changing him quickly and keeping his skin protected. Despite this, he has some irritation and it bothers him. So, the other day he told me "the bad guys are attacking my balls!" Which was his way of telling me his skin was burning/itching and he needed cream applied.

Here is a picture of them in their Halloween costumes before either of them were sick. Logan has even inspired Alexis to be a superhero instead of a princess (a big step for her).

Finally doing better

Well, it has been a rough week since chemo last Tuesday. Logan has not kept much food down, but has been drinking. Sometimes he keeps the milk down, sometimes he does not. We were in the clinic last Friday due to a fever, but thankfully were not admitted to Children's hospital. He seemed to be doing much better after receiving fluids on Friday, but then really became overtired on Saturday. At that time, he was throwing up more and his fever came back up. Thankfully, after resting it went right back down.

So, on Sunday, we kept everything very low key, and even had him take a nap (which he does not usually do at home). He went willingly, and slept well both for his nap and last night for the first time in days. Finally today he seems to be feeling better. Cathy even told me that he ate well at lunch, and it sounds like the amount is almost equal to what he has eaten over the past week. And, the best part? He kept it down! Big deal around here. So, hopefully this will continue, and he can fill his tank before chemo again on Friday.

One more blip

So Logan has been doing pretty well. He has no appetite, but is keeping fluids down and playing like normal. So, it was a little bit of a surprise when he had a fever last night of 101.5. And, of course, this is the threshold at which we have to call the clinic, and maybe make a trip to the hospital. Thankfully, his doctor was the one on call last night and felt comfortable just having us watch him overnight and calling back if it went any higher or there were other symptoms. Well, Logan did not sleep well last night, and ended up spending half the night in bed with us. But overall, nothing worrisome. So, we brought him into the clinic this morning for blood cultures, and he is getting some IV fluids. He still has been throwing up some, so I think this is a good precaution for going into the weekend. He didn't even have a fever when they took it this morning, and it broke with no medications or anything. They ask that we do not give him any Tylenol or other meds that would mask a fever or other symptoms. He is currently enjoying a movie and getting his fluids. Then we will go home and see how he does.